Dear Sophia,

I've got a new work/job opportunity. I'm keen to take this on and very excited about the opportunity, but worried about how to tell my manager, repercussions for the team, feeling guilty about what's to come. How can I work through these feelings and create a constructive plan for the conversations/handing in my resignation.

Sincerely, 

Excited for a Change, Feeling Guilt for the Repercussions

Dear Excited for a Change, Feeling Guilt for the Repercussions,

Congratulations on the new opportunity!! What wonderful news! Let’s take a minute to stay with these positive feelings of accomplishment and excitement for what’s to come. You’re a rockstar and we want to revel in this for a bit. 

Now, unfortunately, with such news, in addition to the excitement, we tend to have anxiety, guilt, grief, and so many more feelings as well. Let’s think about what we can practically do to work through some of these.

First step: giving your resignation. This is a nerve-racking experience but, remember, dealing with situations like these is a part of your supervisor’s job description and you know your supervisor! You have likely had difficult conversations with them in the past and now you can use that awareness for yourself  in this situation. Now, I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your supervisor. If it’s a good one, as long as you are respectful and professional about the way in which you do this, you hopefully won’t have any issues. My recommendation would be to set up time to connect with your manager in person. Don’t break the news over email or informally in passing unless you absolutely have to. When you tell them, be sure to express your gratitude for the support they’ve provided and the years you’ve worked with them. Explain that you’ve taken another position, discuss when your planned last day will be, that you will do everything you can to support them during your remaining time at the organization, and wrap with asking what steps you need to take in terms of HR. Be ready for a negotiation and questions. For example, they may ask why you’re leaving, for flexibility on your end date, or see if there is anything they can do to get you to stay like increase your salary, etc. They may not ask you anything, but be prepared either way. After a conversation like this, you will need to give official written notice to your supervisor and HR so everything is in writing. If you’re unsure what to say in your official resignation letter, there are many templates online that can help with that piece. 

If you have a bad relationship with your supervisor, I would still follow the steps above, but if you are fearful of retaliation or other consequences, you can request HR to be in the room with you as well. Or perhaps you go directly to HR first, depending on how dire the situation really is and let them support you with giving official notice and working with your supervisor through this. Hopefully it doesn’t have to come to this but if it does, you have support.

Second step: processing your feelings. The fact that you are feeling guilty and thinking about potential repercussions for the team tells me that you’re a good person. These are important feelings to acknowledge and perhaps even express to your team if you feel the need to do so. However, it is also important to acknowledge that the team will no longer be your responsibility after your last day. Your supervisor will have to step in to support. While this may sound harsh, you have to remember that your company could fire you tomorrow and leave your team in the same situation. Your team did fine before you arrived and they will do fine after you leave. Focus on finding ways to support them while they transition to looking for your replacement. For example, create a handbook or guidelines for the work that you did (hopefully some form of standard operating procedures already exist!) so someone can step into your role and know where things are and how they were done. Walk an existing team member through where all of your files are kept and how to navigate the work that you did. Set things up for your team. After that, you don’t need to worry about this job because you’ll have a whole other job to learn and team to support. Yes, you may feel grief and loss, and continue to feel guilt, but as long as you know that you left your team with the tools they need, you did your best and you can hopefully move on in peace. 

Now go and celebrate the adventures to come!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Excited for a Change, Feeling Guilt for the Repercussions? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page.

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

I have a couple of female team members who never question decisions of males in our organization, but always question my (female) decisions. It wouldn't be productive to just say "I see bias showing up", so what can I say or do that may help others see where bias is showing up? And, how can I check myself on how I'm responding to female colleagues myself? We should be supporting each other and helping each other with growth, but how to do that when it comes to bias?

Sincerely, 

Ready to Tackle Bias

Dear Ready to Tackle Bias,

It’s great that you are paying attention to bias, both in others and yourself. Willingness to learn and grow is the first step to reducing bias in the workplace and elsewhere. This sounds like a great opportunity for an office-wide training!

Calling out bias when you see it is an important step, but can be uncomfortable and may not be well-received. I’d recommend bringing up the idea of a bias training program in your next staff meeting. You could say something like this: “I have been learning about gender bias and implicit bias and think it would be great if we all did a training! It’s important to me to improve in this area, and I think it could benefit all of us if we did it.” Then you can suggest a few options. There are many resources out there, both free and paid. Here are a few good free options that I like:

• NIH Implicit Bias Training

• Lean In 50 Ways to Fight Bias

• WorkLife Law’s Gender Bias Learning Project (focus on faculty and academia)

These can be completed individually, but there are options to work through topics as groups, or hold a facilitated group session depending on what works for your office.

Once you and your colleagues have completed a training (or two), you will have the tools to both recognize bias and know how best to call it out when you see it.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Ready to Tackle Bias? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. 

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

I'm exhausted from always having to respond over and over to questions about decisions. I consult with others, including my team members, about matters before making decisions, when relevant. There are too many decisions to make to have consensus decision-making for every single decision so I use a mixture of consensus, consultative, and, rarely, authoritative decision-making. I spend a ridiculous amount of time responding to requests for clarity and additional information or just directly asking the same question over and over (by email, then by Slack, then in a virtual meeting 1x1, then in a virtual meeting with others)....I am happy to respond and help with understanding about a decision once, but not repeatedly and not for every single decision. Some decisions are just not important enough to merit the amount of time spent on them. How do I stop my team members from questioning all decisions? 

Sincerely,

Worn Out by Over and Over

Dear Worn Out by Over and Over,

Balance is so tricky, isn't it? On the one hand, we’ve made great progress in the workforce from the days when a manager made a decision, and everyone had to accept it with no questions asked. The dictatorship model has fortunately become less and less acceptable (though it definitely still exists). On the other hand, there seems to be a growing sense of entitlement among staff members that everyone should have a voice in all decision-making. Clearly these are extremes but finding the right balance in the workplace is a real challenge, as you’ve stated. Being a leader is hard for this reason, among many others. We all want to work somewhere that values the input of the team. But the success of any company is also contingent on tough decisions being made at all levels everyday that not everyone can weigh in on. This is true in all facets of life.

Which brings me to your current dilemma. You seem to have gone above and beyond in responding to questions about decisions that have been made. Your communication is obviously wide open and you’re taking the time (a ridiculous amount, you say) to address concerns and inquiries. And you’re consulting wherever you can for input before decisions are made. On paper you’re doing everything right. But since you’ve come to me for help, I’ll be brutally honest. I think you’re doing too much of all of it. While you may be very confident in your decisions, there may be something in your style that doesn’t portray that confidence and your team is taking advantage of that. You’ve opened the door to questioning everything and responded by giving them even more attention on these matters. This is a case where some tough love is in order. I understand you don’t want to be authoritative, but you are in charge and they need to respect that you actually know what you’re doing and have everyone’s best interests at heart.

It also sounds like in many ways, your team just isn’t listening well. They’ve gotten so used to being able to ask you over and over again about what decision was made and why, they don’t listen on the first round. Old habits die hard and unfortunately in your efforts to be kind and fair, you’ve given them a runway to be inefficient and insecure.

So here’s my suggestion: Gather them together and ask them to trust you. Tell them that there seems to be a lot of questioning and re-clarification needed on decisions large and small and it’s becoming a drain on your resources and theirs. And while you value each and every one of them and always want them to question things they feel strongly about, you need them to be discerning in terms of what is significant and what is not, and trust that you are making decisions in the best possible way. Tell them that you will still often ask for input but there may be times you can’t and won’t. It’s not personal. And then reiterate how much you value their work and how much you appreciate that they support you and trust you.

Bottom line, they need to know that things are going to change. And when you get that first question about something insignificant, you just refer the person back to your meeting. As you well know, your job as a leader is not to be liked by everyone, it’s to lead with grace, fairness, and competence. They might not like this new direction but they will respect you for reining it in and communicating clearly.

You’ve got this!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia  

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Worn Out by Over and Over? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page.

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

The amount and pace of change is challenging for all to manage. As a leader, I try to support the organization with change efforts, but I struggle with myself with all the changes, and I have a team that I want to support with navigating incessant change. How can I balance supporting all three of those? Does one take priority over the others? I want to convey support for the organization while also listening and asking how I can support my team, but I don't want to come across as oblivious to how hard it is, as just 'toeing the party line'. Help!

Sincerely,

About to Fall Off the Change Tightrope

Dear About to Fall Off the Change Tightrope,

At the risk of repeating what we’ve all heard since childhood, change is hard. But I also firmly believe that change can be really good. Yet still, even things that are good can sometimes be really hard. So now that I’ve stated the obvious, let’s delve in. You’ve got three buckets that need to be kept full but you only have two arms (at best) to carry those buckets. Dropping one is an option but then which one do you set down? You rightly ask, which one takes priority?

The simple answer is that you take priority. Just like putting your oxygen mask on before helping others on the airplane, you can’t help anyone unless you can breathe. If you’re not feeling balanced, strong, and open to the changes that are happening, you can’t possibly help your team and you can’t support the organization. You care for yourself so that you can care for others. So even if you don’t understand all the changes happening in your company and even if you can’t see where it’s all headed, you can take steps to mentally handle change in whatever form it takes. There are tons of great resources out there on managing change in your own life, so I encourage you to take the time to get comfortable with it and find strength there.

Once you start to feel the weight of your own bucket lightening, you’ll be amazed at how much that affects your team members and your attitude towards the organization. The next step is to create spaces for open and regular communication with your team. Be honest with them about your own struggles but set a positive tone and be forthright in identifying the good aspects of all this upheaval. As with most things in life, it’s all perception and how you view the situation. Change management is about navigating expectations and communicating clearly and empathetically and more often than you think you need to, so give your team this time and space.

And finally, don’t feel pressured to buy into everything your organization is changing. You can still support the work they do and your role in that work, without agreeing with everything. Be strategic in determining what is just a by-product of change that will eventually settle out and be fine, and what may be more significant decisions and directions that you need to push up against. Then articulate those clearly and share them with management, not in an aggressive or threatening way, but as helpful suggestions. Remember, they are navigating change too and they may not be seeing all the angles. Approach it from a place of helpful support to the overall goal, instead of a frustrating roadblock to your success.

Most of all, congratulations on caring enough to take this on. I promise that if you care for yourself and develop your own tools for managing change, the rest will unfold in ways you never imagined.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for About to Fall Off the Change Tightrope? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. 

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

I am a person of color working in a predominantly white workplace. My name is something that tends to be unfamiliar for people outside of my community but it is not difficult to pronounce. I have one particular coworker who consistently butchers it and has even begun to call me by a nickname that I do not appreciate. I've tried correcting him and he just laughs it off. How do I get him to respect me, my name, and my culture?

Sincerely, 

Say My Name!

Dear Say My Name!,

Thank you for bringing up this very important topic. Your name is part of your identity and culture, and anyone who refuses to say it correctly is being disrespectful and racist. While you shouldn’t have to put in the extra work for what is his problem, here are some things you can try to get your colleague to say your name:

1.     Be firm. If he laughs it off when you correct him, tell him you do not find it funny or appreciate that he won’t say your name. State explicitly what your preferred name is, and that you will not respond to a nickname.

2.     Try humor. If you prefer to try humor in return or think it may resonate more, you could try giving your colleague an unwanted nickname. If he says “but my name isn’t hard to pronounce,” you could respond with, “neither is mine!” If he doesn’t appreciate the nickname, maybe he’ll realize you don’t appreciate yours, either.

3.     Ask other colleagues to help back you up. Do you have colleagues in the office who do pronounce your name correctly? Let them know you’d appreciate their help in calling out the offending colleague and repeating your name correctly.

4.     Try adding a phonetic pronunciation to your email signature. Again, you shouldn’t have to do this, but it may make it clearer to others that you are serious about using your given name and having it pronounced correctly. This could help reinforce your name for present and future colleagues. You could also add a line in your signature that links to YouTube or another site that can play a sound clip of your name. If your colleague is actually struggling to pronounce your name (and not just being a jerk), maybe he will listen to it and actually get it down.

Unfortunately, this person may never really respect you. It’s not OK, but you also shouldn’t devote too much more of your precious time and energy to this cause. Try your best, make it clear for him and other colleagues, then let it go. Let this be a reminder to all of us to respect others’ names and say them, no matter how difficult they are to pronounce!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Say My Name? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. 

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

I work in a role that requires me to engage with a lot of external partners. I was recently visiting a partner and, while grabbing after work drinks, he began to make very inappropriate comments about my appearance. I laughed it off and attempted to change the subject. That worked for a bit but he kept coming back to the way I looked and other very lewd comments. I finally made up an excuse and called it a night but I don't know what to do now. He's an important partner but I don't want to be in a situation where I'm ever alone with him again. I'm also fairly new to this role and don't want my manager thinking I can't do my job. What should I do?

Sincerely, 

Laughing it Off Isn't Working

Dear Laughing it Off Isn't Working,

Let me begin by saying I am so sorry that you had to experience this. This sort of behavior is, unfortunately, much more common than most people in fields like higher/international education would like to admit. The number of times I have spoken to colleagues who have been in the EXACT same situation as you is appalling. And then for you to be the one worrying about your job and your competency…ridiculous! I am so sorry!

Now, there are a couple of layers here. Let’s start with how you’re feeling. Many times in situations like these, the victim feels inadequate or guilty, like it was their fault, like they led the perpetrator on. Why did you laugh it off? Why didn’t you just walk away or tell him it was inappropriate right then and there? Why did you agree to drinks in the first place? There are a million “what if” or “why” questions we play through our minds over and over again. If this is you, I am going to tell you to STOP right now. NONE OF THIS is on you. You did what you needed to in that situation with not only your safety in mind, but with the extra pressure of potentially losing an important partner in the beginning of a new role. Let me repeat that. You did what you needed to. If you are having these thoughts, I hope you have taken the time to speak to friends or family, perhaps a therapist, someone that can help you process the feelings that you are having - this is going to be an important step in moving forward. If you’re not having these thoughts, and are doing fine, then great.

The second step is going to be to think through what you want to do. You mentioned not wanting to be alone with this man again. Does that mean you’re okay continuing to work with him as long as that condition is met? Or do you want to be taken off of this account? This is where your personal comfort and your career ambitions may come head to head. Perhaps being on this account is really important for your career or maybe it isn’t and you can find another account with a much more professional partner. In these kinds of situations, many of us will, unfortunately, put aside our personal discomforts for the job. While I wouldn’t recommend that per say, I also don’t know what the situation is for you at this job so this will be a decision you will need to make or at least consider before speaking to a supervisor. There is no wrong decision here as long as you are doing what’s best for you. One thing I will say is no job is worth your personal safety. 

Once you’ve thought through what you would ideally like to do, it will be important to speak to your supervisor. Any half decent supervisor is going to be more than understanding of this situation and ask how they can support you. This is where you can lay out what you would like to see happen or ask your supervisor for guidance around what the options are and what the potential impacts are to you. Your supervisor should be able to give you insights to make a more informed decision and provide you with the necessary resources. 

Unfortunately, we also live in a world in which the company’s bottom line is sometimes worth more than an individual and their safety. In this case, you may have to make a tough decision about where the line is for you and whether you want to go to HR or even continue to work for an organization whose values and priorities don’t align with yours. I hope it won’t come to this, but if it does, then like you did in the situation initially, do what you need to in order to take care of yourself. Be loyal to yourself!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Laughing it Off Isn't Working? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. 

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

I work on a team that has two team leads. One lead is a bit of a bulldozer and the other avoids confrontation and both are rarely on the same page so the team is constantly getting conflicting messages. I've had to go past both of them to senior leadership a couple of times to resolve issues but the situation isn't getting better. I don't know what to do. Help!

Sincerely,

Tired of Infighting

Dear Tired of Infighting,

This is a perfect opportunity for you to practice the art of negotiation. And it really is an art. But don’t be afraid, you can and should do it. I’ve been in these situations where I desperately wanted change and thought, “why can’t someone else take this on?” Trust me, it’s a fruitless question. You can see what’s going on pretty clearly and you’ve taken steps in the past to right the situation by going over their heads to no avail, so it’s time to step into the ring and see if you can work with these individuals to make a change.  

My guess is that both of these team leads think they’re doing a good job (or maybe just an ok job) at leading this group. They don’t know that they possess skills in bulldozing and confrontation avoidance, and if they do know, they don’t think anyone notices. Here’s where just a little bit of communication can go a long way. I suggest asking for a meeting with them together. You then tell them that you are concerned with what you see within the team as a confusion over messaging (if you can cite specific examples here, that’s even better). You ask them if they think that perhaps this could be a result of them having such different styles. You go on to say that you really appreciate that Bulldozer is really good at [insert example] and that Confrontation Avoider is really good at [insert example] but that a unified voice would be really helpful to this particular team. And then you ask for their advice. What would they recommend to help this situation? Would they be willing to work with you to come up with some solutions?  

It's possible this won’t work, they won’t get it and you’ll be right back where you started. If that happens then it’s time to take it to senior leadership again, or HR, and tell them that there needs to be one team lead with one consistent voice because it simply is not working. And if others on your team feel this way, have them join you in this complaint. The nice thing is, at that point, you can share that you tried to resolve this directly with the two team leads and it was not effective. You’ve done all you can.

The hardest part of these sorts of situations is that they often require an actual conversation with the people involved. That takes energy and preparation that is sometimes hard to muster. But it truly is the best way forward and believe it or not, it can work really well. I’m sending you courage and clarity in hopes it works for you too!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia  

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Tired of Infighting? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. 

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

During the pandemic our team was cut in half and I have been basically been doing two people's jobs. Recently one of my teammates gave her notice and my boss said that she expected me and another colleague to take on some of this additional work. When asked whether she would be helping, she said no. She hasn't taken on any extra work since our changes in staffing and is now expecting me to take on even more without any kind of compensation. I've hit my wit’s end. Is there anything that I can do aside from just quitting?

Sincerely, 

Ready to Quit

Dear Ready to Quit,

The negative effects of the pandemic on the workplace have not yet subsided, especially for you! It’s clear you’ve taken on too much in the last several years, and without much support from your office, so you’re asking the right question. Let’s break down your options, other than quitting:

1. Ask about plans to hire. Ask leadership what, if any, plans there are to increase staffing. If they can provide a specific timeline and plan that seems reasonable to you, perhaps you’ll feel you can stick around.

2. If there are no plans to hire, make the case to leadership. Speak up to management and be honest that you simply cannot take on anymore. Some leaders may respond well if they knew their employees’ mental health and well-being was suffering, so include this in your case if you feel your manager would be empathetic. Unfortunately, however, some leaders do not care to know about any negative emotional or mental state of their employees. It seems your unhelpful manager may be in this camp. If that’s the case, I’d recommend being objective and making it clear that the understaffing is negatively impacting stakeholders or business. If your boss responds favorably to your plea, you can decide if you still want to stay and if you have the patience to make it through the hiring process.

3. If your boss says they cannot or will not hire more staff, ask for a raise. Make a clear-cut business case in writing for all you’ve taken on over the last 2-3 years and the value you bring to the organization. Decide on a number that seems fair to you and request that new salary explicitly. Avoid mentioning anything personal or emotional—just stick to the facts about the work you’ve done.

If leadership will not hire more staff, disclose an appropriate timeline for hiring, or give you a raise, then your best option is to leave. An organization that truly values you would provide support, either through better staffing or increased compensation for you. If you do not feel valued, it can be very challenging and demoralizing to keep holding on!

If you decide to quit, decide on your timeline and don’t look back. Having another job lined up before you leave may be ideal, but your wellbeing is another important consideration and only you can decide when enough is enough. And keep in mind, your leaving may set a precedent in which leaders will realize that they cannot keep pulling this nonsense! Research indicates it is actually more costly to an organization to lose staff. They should learn to do what it takes to retain quality staff members to save money in the long run, and hopefully create a better environment for everyone involved.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Ready to Quit? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page.

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

What are best practices for managing a large volume of email? I have a colleague who doesn't answer messages or makes problems when she does, so others at my employer have taken to writing to me instead of her. They are well intentioned: they want to get work done, but they put me in a difficult position. The person they don't want to write to is my boss, and I wind up getting so many messages and requests that I am completely overwhelmed and stressed.

Sincerely, 

Slogging Through

Dear Slogging Through,

Ugh…emails…I, and everyone else in this digital world, feel you. And it’s not just the number of emails but the sense of urgency behind every email that makes it impossible to escape. Plus all the meetings on meetings that lead to more emails but less time to answer said emails…. Ok, I digress! Let’s get back to you!

While emails are a problem unto themselves, in this situation, I don’t think they are THE problem. The problem here appears to be your colleague not doing their job, your other colleagues assuming that you will, you in fact making that assumption true, and your supervisor being seemingly unaware that all of this is happening. So while I can give practical advice on supporting a massive inbox (such as setting aside set times on your calendar to devote to just email, finding ways to prioritize your daily tasks along with sifting through emails to know which ones need to be responded to first, etc.) let’s focus on what I believe are the actual issues.

First and foremost, if you have a colleague that isn’t doing their job and that is impacting you and your work, your supervisor needs to know. I know the idea of “ratting” out your colleagues doesn’t feel the best but this is clearly getting to a point that is unreasonable and action needs to be taken. Hopefully your supervisor will be able to support you by talking to this individual and re-shifting the work back to this individual.

Now, being the eldest sibling has also taught me that sometimes mom just tells you to do it because that’s the path of least resistance versus getting the younger siblings to do it and probably do it wrong. This is not acceptable with siblings or in the workplace. If that is the response you get from your supervisor then that is something you’ll need to work through. Maybe it is ok that you’re supporting all of these emails from your colleagues, but then it should also be ok that other responsibilities are shifted to someone else (i.e. the original offender). Or if you are expected to take on someone else’s job then you should be given a raise, a title change, etc. to compensate for the additional work that you are doing that is likely not in your job description. And, of course, in the worst case scenario there is always HR as a last resort. 

Beyond telling your supervisor, and depending on how your supervisor responds, I would also tell your colleagues directly that this isn’t your role and that if they have concerns  that the colleague in question isn’t able to support them with, they should go to that individual's supervisor directly. If they’re good colleagues, they’ll understand that you are establishing a healthy boundary and are trying to do what’s best for you as well as everyone else in the long run. Your burning out isn’t going to be beneficial to anyone. If this also doesn’t work, then, moving forward, as you get these emails, start to loop in the colleague in question and your supervisor and say something like, “Thank you for your email. Unfortunately, this doesn’t fall in my wheelhouse but I’m sure X will be able to support as this is their expertise.” This will put the pressure back on your colleague and let your supervisor know as well. Keep doing this until something changes! I know you feel bad and want things to move forward but it can’t be at the expense of your well being. 

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Feeling the Years? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

I'm in a new position requiring a lot of project management in many directions.  I am getting swamped with sticky notes and papers accumulating and advanced planning and 'this is a great idea that I said yes to or suggested but now how do I make sure it doesn't fall through the cracks?'  I am embarrassed that I'm in my 50s (gulp!) and still struggle with these personal issues of organization.

Sincerely, 

Definitely Feeling Like an Imposter

Dear Definitely Feeling Like an Imposter,

I am thrilled you’ve asked this question, because organization is my jam and I love to help others get on top of it. But first things first: you’re not an imposter. Like so many people the world over, you’re juggling a lot of things all at once and you’re trying to keep a “can-do” attitude because that’s what is expected of you. That makes you human, but the fact that you can admit you need help makes you superhuman! So, pat yourself on the back and let’s jump in.

I don’t care whether you’re twenty-two or sixty-five, writing things down is an age-old art that is always a good answer to any organization challenge. List-making is the most simple and effective foundation for getting organized and it’s going to be your best friend. There’s a reason that every project management tool out there has some sort of list-making function. Whether you do it on a piece of birch-bark or on your phone, start with a list. This serves two important purposes:

1. It forces you to slow down and organize your thoughts. It may sound like a stretch, but make the time to do this by grabbing a coffee and stepping away. You want to allow yourself the time to have things come to you that you may have forgotten or overlooked. Force yourself to sit down, undisturbed, and start your list. This may mean you need to gather up all those Post-it notes and scraps of paper and random digital notes and transfer them into this one list. Do it!
2. It gets everything in one place. I’ll say that again: It gets everything in one place. The problem with scraps of paper and sticky notes on your desktop is that they scatter your list and when the list gets scattered, things get dropped. What if that Post-it note task didn’t make it onto the agenda in your email because it was sitting under your lunch—oh no! Keep ONE master list and build it out from there.

The list-making tool you use you depends on your personality. Perhaps everything you do is digital and you’re glued to your screen 24/7. If that’s the case, make your list either in something as simple as an Excel spreadsheet or something more layered like a project management tool or digital notebook. If you tend to like an actual paper notebook that can sit on your desk and travel with you, then find a good solid hardcover notebook that will become your best friend—maybe it’s just blank pages or maybe it’s a calendar too. You do you! And don’t judge yourself. There’s not one right tool to stay organized. If you try to force yourself into a system that doesn’t work for you, you won’t use it and then you’ll feel guilty for one more thing you didn’t get done today.  

Once you’ve made a list of everything that needs doing for a certain project (perhaps you’ve broken it into categories, added deadlines, and noted others who have a hand in this), then make sure you keep that list active and available at all times. This is key because every time someone mentions something else that needs doing, or you suddenly remember an item you left off the list, or a deadline changes, you need to adjust that list. If you don’t have it readily accessible, you’ll revert to a Post-it which may not make it out of the bottom of your bag.

And here’s the most important advice I can give you: Review that list often, and AT LEAST once per day. I used to sit down with my coffee and go over my list each morning before I did anything else. And, when I was really on my game, I’d review it again before I went home each day so that I could cross things off. If you’re not reviewing the list, adding to it, taking away from it, and generally letting it serve as the guard-rails for your day, it’s not serving its purpose.

There are lots of tools and resources out there, but this is the best starting place I know, and it has never let me down. I hope it works for you too. And remember, slowing down and taking the time to declutter your desk, stopping to look out the window, or doing a short loop around the block all help to clear out the cobwebs in your head. And that makes room for all those great new ideas to be added to your list!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Feeling the Years? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.